Film Review: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

That one-page papyrus is the movie’s script

Apparently, there is a moment in every talented thespian’s career when they have to make a rubbish film: that one that makes everyone think, “they could have spared that budget”. That is what happens with Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters.

If you are a ten year old kid, you can watch this film and amuse yourself (except for some gore scenes). But if you are an adult who has the common sense to know if something is worth it or not, then you will leave the cinema bewildered. And then you will wonder what was two times Oscar nominee Jeremy Renner thinking when he accepted that role.

I suppose that, at some point, someone thought a good film could come out of this, because the idea is interesting: the story that happens after the fairytale has ended. Unfortunately, the script jettisons everything – I didn’t know they used to say “awesome” in 19th century Germany. Renner and Gemma Arterton do what they can with what they are given, but it seems impossible. They are the only good thing in this movie, because it is clear that the crew skipped several months of pre-production. Well, at least the film is short – I have seen Downton Abbey episodes that lasted longer…

So, please, my only hope is that this movie will soon be forgotten, so that Renner and Arterton can go back to doing films worth watching.

All right, here comes a positive thought about Hansel & Gretel: the fighting scenes are good. The end.

Originally published here.