Thoughts I Had While Watching GoT’s ‘The Gift’

In which I realise I can’t tell the Sand Snakes apart, Cersei gets what she deserves just when I was starting to like her and I unwillingly watch Samwell lose his virginity.

-I see absolutely nothing good coming out of Jon going north of the Wall. Look what happened last time.

-Is Tormund really that big or is it CGI? It’s been obsessing me for weeks.

-Oh my, I agree with what Alliser said. What is wrong with me?

-Is Aemon dying? Nope, nope, nope.

-Theon, you better light that stupid candle.

-Awwww shit. You had one job, Theon.

-So they did kill Aemon. First person in GoT to die of old age.

-Five years of winter coming and now it’s officially here. Such cold. Much snow.

-I hate the way the Boltons torture people. I hate Ramsay. He’s even worse than Joffrey.

-This is disgusting.

-Stupid Theon. They cut off his dick and it automatically makes him unable to do anything good.

-Not that he was Mother Theresa before…

-Melisandre, if you touch Shireen…

-“Get out.” You don´t get to talk about Stannis’ daughter like that, girl.

-Ghost saved the day (because Sam clearly wasn’t going to succeed).

-I had forgotten about Ghost. I missed him so much. I need a direwolf.

-Are Sam and Gilly going to…?

-Yup.

-Well, that was awkward. And somewhat uncomfortable.

-Daario is sooo much better than the whatshisface Dany is marrying.

-Daario’s solution to everything: mass murder. And I still like him. Seriously, something is wrong with me.

-I wish every scene ever involved Dianna Rigg and Jonathan Pryce, discussing joint pain.

-Cersei’s scenes when she shows that being a mother is her main concern are the ones that I find the most touching.

-Pop star Jerome Flynn returns.

-I need more background with these Sand Snakes, I still haven’t learned their names.

-So far we’ve only had a couple of scenes of them being very angry and that’s not enough for me to truly care.

-I knew it! Poisoned daggers. Sneaky.

-Don’t you dare kill Bronn, show.

-Boobs.

-Boobs again.

-I’m sure there was another way of getting Bronn to call you pretty without threatening his life.

-Tyrion has almost reached his destination. Is this when Dany’s storyline starts getting a bit more interesting?

-She must know it’s Jorah. I mean, he is STILL wearing those clothes.

-Tyrion, of course you are the gift. Always.

-Jonathan Pryce knows about Lancel. Ouch, ouch.

-Silly Lancel. That’s what happens when you fry someone’s forehead.

-Cersei is screwed. I don’t know what to think.

-This means Tommen is now on his own, right? And I don’t even think he has a Hand of the King.

-Someone let Stannis know. This is his moment!