It’s been a while since we had an episode of pure comedy (the one with Napoleon and the monastery), but this time, El Ministerio del Tiempo has given us another jewel.
There were two parts of the story: first, we have Lombardi, a showman who used to have a TV show about mysteries (financed by the ministry, so that people would pay attention to Lombardi’s crazy stories whenever someone was about to discover about the doors). Problem is that, eight years ago, Lombardi himself discovered the ministry after he found a door and ended up in the Spanish Civil War, but of course everything was taken care of and he was treated like a crazy man. Now he wants revenge, YouTube video included, and shows up at the ministry for a tour with his sceptical cameraman daughter, a ministry that Salvador has assured is a subdivision of public works.
What’s Salvador’s idea for this? Well, everyone needs to act like a proper civil servant. Idle lives, the computer screens must be showing no work, but a game of solitaire; there must be a lot of people chatting around the coffee machine, the clothes have been brought from an outlet in the nineties, and so on… But even so, Lombardi finds out and escapes through a door, which leads to the second part with…
Colón! Christopher Columbus for you, but I’m going to be referring to the man as Colón. But here’s the problem: Lombardi does the famous egg thing in front of everyone, and then convinces Colón that there must be something else beyond the sea, and even decides to go with him (this is still 1485, anyway).
While this is happening, our agents are in 1992, the last door they have to check to find Lombardi, but while they are searching, Julián finds a banknote with Lombardi’s face in it! Who is he? He asks the man with the banknote. Well, no other that the most important man in this country, the man who discovered America! And when the team rushes to the ministry, they realise that everyone thinks Lombardi discovered America, so the team marches to 1485 with everyone else thinking they are actually crazy about this “Colón” man.
They manage to find Lombardi, yes, and they arrest him, but on the way, some Portuguese men that are after Colón appear and kidnap Lombardi’s daughter, giving us one of the most hilarious showdowns I’ve ever seen, including Colón faking his dead and Julián making up Portuguese football names to fool the hitmen.
Everything is solved, Lombardi is given a new TV show and all is right with the world. PS. Please show stop trying to make Amelia and Julián a thing!!!!
-There was also a hilarious subplot in which Alonso didn’t understand what the term “fuckbuddies” meant.
-This representation of Colón was quite stereotypical, but in a way that the show wanted to make him funny, and they succeeded.
-I mean, just the moment when he says “I’ll go… that way” and points to America, like every single sculpture and monument of him.
-Isabel is mentioned! When they travel to 1485, Lombardi’s daughter is convinced that they are in a TV set “like Isabel, or Águila Roja.”
-When Alonso’s “lady friend” mentions that there’s a theory about people from other centuries visiting the present, Alonso hilariously replies “God help me, what a colossal absurdity!” (sounds even more outdated in Spanish).
-“He said that Franco was buried frozen right next to Walt Disney, and that if you listen to a Luis Aguilé LP backwards, your head will explode.” “And the right way, too.”
-“I told Moncloa that we’ll solve this problem. For now, I’ve told them that we’ve activated the Alfa Level alarm.” “I’ve never heard about it.” “Neither have I, but I had to tell them something to calm them down.”
-The whole conversation between Alonso and Julián in the toilet was priceless. But then again, we are not getting enough of them!
-“Give me the phone, or I’ll kill you, I’ll kill my daughter and then I’ll kill myself!” “Can’t you alter the order and kill yourself first?”
-“These clothes are not from our century.” “Dad, these are vintage clothes, this is what the hipsters buy in Malasaña.”
-“We can already catch the thief with the drawing as it is.” “It still needs the shading!” “Don’t worry, when we get back you can colour it however you want.” “You want me to colour a charcoal drawing?”
-“Lombardi’s origins are a mystery, too.” “He’s Argentinian!” “How can he be Argentinian before discovering America?”
-“So, this Colón guy… was the one who ‘lombardised’ America?” (best joke of the episode)
-“And New Lombardia is actually called Colombia, yeah, right, sure.”
-“The muzzle was a great idea.” “Enjoy it, you’ll never see an Argentinian silent for so long again.”
–(looking at Velázquez’s notebook) “Why do I have to film the doodles?!!” “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DOODLES??!!!” (Salvador smoothly puts his hand on Velázquez’s shoulder and claws at him to make him sit down)
–(in ridiculous Portuguese accent) “Boas noites. We are Cristiano… and Ronaldo.” “She is… Ronaldinha da Silva Mourinho.”
-“We want to know what you are going to do to him.” “The exact same thing you guys were going to do.” “Kill him and steal the map?” “Err… yep, just that. So you can leave now, we got this covered.”
-“Lavapiés?” “Lavapiés, it’s the alternative route, that goes through the ocean of Antón Martín.”
-“Colón, Cristóbal Colón.” (it was the actor’s idea to improvise this)
-Seriously, the scene where Colón fakes his death is hilarious.
-“I’m Sebastián Lombardi.” “Lombardi? Where is that name from?” “Buenos Aires!” “Where is that??” “It’s err… between Burgos…and Ávila.”
-I love the fact that Lombardi is the one who convinces Colón that the best way to get funding from the Catholic Monarchs is to make Isabel see the amount of new souls he’ll bring to Christianity.
-People, keep writing to RTVE! Lobby!