Who doesn’t love weddings? Everyone is happy, people get drunk, some more than others embarrass themselves in front of the guests, and 13th century knights arrive looking for their bride willing to kill everyone on their way. Weddings, am I right?
This episode starts as a happy one for the ministry: two of its agents, Natalia and Ortigosa, are getting married, so of course it is a day to celebrate -except for Julián and Salvador, to whom the wedding reminds them of their departed wives.
The wedding is taking place in an idyllic medieval castle, where legend tells that a girl called Constanza killed herself by jumping from the highest tower on her wedding day. As we learn through the wedding planner and through visits to 1212, Constanza was in love with a humble shepherd called Sancho, but she was being forced to marry the castle’s lord, Fadrique, who in the show’s world was going to take part in the epic Battle of Las Navas de Tolosa. Of course, the young couple tried to escape, but they were caught and Sancho was tortured, and then the poor guy had to duel Fadrique and obviously lost and got killed. Life. So then he married Constanza, who escaped on their wedding night and…
…well, the legend said she plummeted to her death, but the truth is that, while running, she discovered by mistake one of the doors and ended up in the castle’s kitchen…in 2016! Yes, the night of the wedding. After running around wondering what is happening, she sees a painting of herself jumping from the tower, and decides to do just that. Luckily for her, Julián and Amelia spot her and stop her before she does anything. What is the problem? Well, it’s that of course Fadrique and his men are going to find the door and show up at the wedding.
In a hilarious climax, the medieval men appear at the banquet but are mistaken for the actors who were actually supposed to be there and re-enact the legend, so even when Fadrique slaps the wedding planner and bites a cellphone, the guests can do nothing but applaud at this very realistic performance.
You know what happens then? Well, of course you do. Fadrique, desperate as he sees he can’t find Constanza, decides to just take another woman with him, and chooses Elena. Cue to Alonso to bring out his best 16th century warrior and kick Fadrique’s ass –which means now Elena knows that there’s something about Alonso she doesn’t know.
In the end, the solution to Constanza is to take her to the convent in Tordesillas that Angustias still visits every now and then, and hope she’ll be happier there.
Well, and talking about the wedding! It was the most hilarious thing. We got to see Velázquez arrive drunk and keep getting drunker, we got the best figure of a wedding, the annoying brother-in-law, splendidly portrayed by Spanish comedian Raúl Cimas. What’s not to like…
Oh, wait, I know what’s not to like! The fact that the show tries to keep making Julián and Amelia a thing! Why was he upset when he found out she had slept with Pacino? It makes no sense!
Looking forward to the season finale next week! Our glorious Felipe II will sneak into the ministry while he tries to go back in time to make the Spanish Armada successful. Yeah, I don’t think that’s a great idea either.
Notes from the reception
-Great cameo from Masterchef’s Pepe Rodríguez.
-Our dear Spínola returned very briefly to try to save the day after it had already been saved, but he had one of the best moments of the episode after he slapped the brother-in-law in the face.
-By the way, Raúl Cimas improvised most of his lines. If you can understand a bit of Spanish, find his monologues on YouTube.
-I almost forgot the subplot! Ernesto was in charge of looking after the ministry and got the visit of his ex, Marisa, who will now take over Susana Torres’s job. And they almost did it. You know, before he got a phone call and the moment was ruined.
-Ortigosa’s bachelor party was in the 1920’s during San Fermín, with Hemingway. That is how you party.
-But seriously, drunk Velázquez is the best thing ever. When he arrives late wearing sunglasses, when he says that he was hungover so he decided to simply keep on drinking, when he kisses and hugs Salvador, when he tries to kiss the older woman he was dancing with, when he crumbles after one of the medieval men grabs him… You have to love this man.
-Line of the week that Spanish people will find hilarious but if you are not from Spain you won’t get: when Julián appears on top of the stairs wearing the cape, and the brother-in-law exclaims “Wow man, Ramón García!” Well, García is a VERY famous TV presenter who usually hosts the Campanadas on New Year’s Eve, and always wears a cape.
-I also loved how oblivious to everything Elena was. She was enjoying the medieval “re-enactment” like a little kid.
-Great movie tribute: the Django Unchained moment after Alonso saves Elena from Fadrique and they walk back to the main room.
–This is the reason why Spínola was late for the party.
-“I’ll never get used to the women of this time. In my time, you told a woman what she had to do, and she would do it!” “Mmm, yeah, because they were slaves and servants.”
-“Now I get to focus on photography. I’m an architect…I own a pharmacy.”
-“One of my usual migraines. I thought it might be hangover, but they say beer cures hangover, and I have already drunk two this morning and I don’t feel any better.”
–(Velázquez mumbling) “Allow me to address you informally… Because Venus… Let me see… God… No. Love is the child of beauty, with a capital B. Like Cupid is the child of the Goddess Venus. And, and, what I’m saying is… we have to humanise myths! Let’s talk about humanising myths! Because Venus…nothing more beautiful than Italian mothers! Venus is in every woman!”
-“She’s a flesh and blood person!” “What did you expect her to be made of? Styrofoam?”
-“There’s been nothing good on the cinemas since the Spanish Golden Age.”
-“Let the skies ignite! Let the skies…ignite! What the fuck… LET THE SKIES IGNITE, DAMN IT!!!”