El Ministerio del Tiempo 3×08 Review: Time of Conquest

I’m not telling you anything new when I say that, after the Spanish discovery of America, plenty of natives were treated poorly and stripped of their culture and belongings. Well, this is the story of the Spaniard who did in fact respect their traditions.

The first thing we are showed on this episode is the Yucatán Peninsula in 1516. A soldier (Gaspar de Entrerríos, Alonso’s grandfather) and his men attack a native village with one purpose: save the Spanish men being held captive there. The remaining men there are only two, Gonzalo Guerrero and the priest Jerónimo de Aguilar. The first one has fully absorbed the native culture, and the second is the key to Hernán Cortés’s conquest, since Aguilar acted as his interpreter. Problem is, the soldiers don’t manage to take Aguilar with them.

So there’s the team’s mission! Even though Pacino doesn’t really want to go because the whole conquest is atrocious, and Alonso finds Guerrero a traitor to the Crown and his religion, they both must travel to Yucatán to find the village and make sure Aguilar leaves.

And the door takes them to 1518, where time agent Bernal del Castillo welcomes them to show them the way. Passing as castaways, the two are quickly captured by Guerrero’s natives. Guerrero, who knows they are coming to take Aguilar with them, tells them the story of how his party arrived and everyone but the two of them were eaten by a cannibalistic tribe. The natives they are living with now are the ones who saved them (albeit, keeping them as slaves). It was only when Guerrero saved the chief’s life a while later that he was granted his freedom, and even the chief’s daughter’s hand in marriage. Life in the 16th century in a nutshell.

Luckily, Alonso and Pacino are allowed to leave, and they reunite with some Spaniards who are on their way to pretty much kill everyone in the village, just because. And one of them? Alonso’s grandpa. Our favourite soldier finds out that his ancestor wasn’t the brave man he heard stories about, but a jackass who abandoned his family. Never meet your heroes.

In the end, when the Spaniards visit the village to kill the natives, they all get killed in return. And the first to die is Gaspar de Entrerríos. Why? Well, remember the agent I mentioned, Bernal? Turns out, he is a spy for the Sons of Padilla, and was about to shoot when Alonso stopped him, and the bullet hits dear old grandpa. Oh well, he was an idiot anyway.

But while all this happens, the SoP, led by Marta, are causing havoc in 2017. Since they want Pere Folch back and Salvador can’t give him to them because he died of a heart attack, the terrorists threaten to kill all their loved ones. But there’s a catch: they have actually kidnapped 1956’s Salvador, and Marta and her partner give him peanuts by mistake, not knowing he is allergic. So, while both Salvadors lay in a hospital bed dying, it’s up to Ernesto and Young Lola to travel there and make sure the kid gets treated. And in the midst of it all, Marta shoots her partner, because he was going to shoot Kid Salvador. If it sounds complicated, it’s because it was.

But of course, Pacino can’t know about Marta. But you know he is definitely going to find out about it next week. When he gets back from that Bowie concert.


Stabbed by a junkie

-Miguel Ángel Muñoz, the actor who plays Guerrero, became famous 15 years ago with a very popular show called Un Paso Adelante. He hasn’t aged a day, and last year he won Celebrity Masterchef (Cayetana Guillén-Cuervo was the runner-up).

-“Not all tribes ate human flesh, and those who did, it was for religious reasons.” “Ah well, if it’s not personal, then I don’t have to worry.”

-Running gag of the episode: Pacino is mad because the day they leave for America, he had tickets for a Leño concert. In the end, Salvador makes amends by giving him tickets for a David Bowie concert in 1987 at El Calderón. There’s your Atlético de Madrid reference of the episode.

-“Sorry I hacked your computers.” “Don’t worry. That way we can share memes and laugh together.”

-“We brought civilisation, we brought God! And he gives all that up to walk around the jungle naked.”

-Another great moment: when Pacino in the cage keeps telling the native to stop touching him.

-“In here, you take it out to have a wee and you get stung by a tarantula.”

-“We are not terrorists.” “Then what should we call it, origami?”

-“What’s this demonic tool?” “A compass. German. There’s more industry there.”

-“I shouldn’t be here, I’m from the 20th century. And Hernán Cortés bores the pants off me! How bored he must have been in his hometown to mess it up like this! I should be at Rosendo’s concert!”

-“If someone had told me I’d die in the 16th century during the Spanish Conquest…” “How did you think you were going to die?” “I don’t know, stabbed by a junkie at San Blas or at Pozo del Tío Raimundo back in my time.” (both areas were a bit dodgy in the eighties).

-“Mmmm…disgusting.” Alonso knows how to keep smiling at the natives who don’t understand a word he says.


Categories: Spanish Historical Fiction, Television | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “El Ministerio del Tiempo 3×08 Review: Time of Conquest

  1. Pingback: El Ministerio del Tiempo 3×09 Review: the Schism of Time | Corleones & Lannisters

  2. Pingback: El Ministerio del Tiempo 4×05 Review: Undoing Time | Corleones & Lannisters

  3. This episode is one of my faves. The Pacino-Alonso duo at its best! ❤
    Miguel Angel Munoz! Of course! That's where I knew him from! I knew I had seen those abs somewhere! 🙂 it's only the long hair that threw me off 😛

    • Ginny C

      I suggest you check the first edition of the Spanish Masterchef Celebrity (you can find it on RTVE A la Carta), because MAM was in it!

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