For the past 24 hours, I have been apprehensive about writing this recap, because it meant that, once I did it, the Droughtlander would begin. Again. But I can’t postpone the inevitable, so here we go. To make the wait for season 5 shorter, I have Seven Stones to Stand or Fall, and I got The Fiery Cross from the library, although I don’t know if I will read it because a) I enjoy being surprised by the events on the show, and b) it looks looooong. Not that I don’t like long books (I read Ken Follett’s in a weekend), but, you know, I don’t know if I want to invest my time on a book that might make me dislike season 5 later on. I’m torn.
Anyway.
-The Previously is making it sound like something awful is bound to happen.
-So many names. Again.
-I do love this song. In all its variations.
-The sixties! Ominous! A native being rightfully pissed at the depiction of his culture!
-Jamie! Finally!!
-I hope he won’t sneak in to steal Roger. Although I don’t see any other choice.
-If something happens to Rollo, I. Will. Lose. It.
-All right, proper introduction entrance. The sneaking bit would have ended with a bloodbath. Of Brits.
-Awkwaaaard.
-I’m so scared.
-That is…. A very generic drawing of a man.
-Oh, Ian, like they will give you Roger for the necklace -like you did, ahem.
-Is Jamie trying to buy Roger with pots?
-What the hell.
-That necklace is the one from that ghost in the forest? I can’t remember.
-Which was being carried by that native man in the sixties. I feel like this needs to be explained in detail.
-Oh, Claire, you always bring troubleeeee.
-Why did you have to wear that!!???
-Murtagh, please tell me you are done with the Regulators plot. Is the Regulators storyline even in the books -where I know Murtagh is already dead?
-Jocasta, just let the man stay there with Brianna.
-Ugh, Lord John is gone, noooo!
-And Murtagh doesn’t even know Lord John is gay. His only objection to the marriage is that he is a Red Coat.
-Lovely bodice. Brianna’s pregnancy clothes are outstanding.
-No, Brianna, do worry yourself. No epidural. NO EPIDURAL.
-Claire, did you seriously not expect Jamie to plan to come back for Roger in the heat of the night?
-Jamie is sporting some serious parenting guilt.
-Wait, what? Why are they attacking Jamie?
-Oh, I knew that woman was up to something.
-I need some serious explanations. This episode should be 90 minutes long.
-Claire is so good at catching people’s names the first time she hears them.
-Explanation flashback time!
-Is Otter Tooth the ghost skull?
-Wait, was he the guy in the sixties from the intro?
-I have so many questions right now.
-Otter Tooth, you can’t change the past. Just ask Claire and Jamie circa season 2.
-That story is so sad.
-Well, because she found the skull with the stone, duh.
-What a coincidence that the person who carries it and sees the future is time traveler Claire.
-Well, it only took almost an entire season to explain this bit.
-But I need to have it explained even more.
-We all know Brianna is not going to marry Lord John before the birth.
-If they are all rowing, where is the horse with their stuff?
-Oh no, they are going to try to rescue Roger, as in, steal him.
-Finally.
-Oh, something is going to go wrong.
-So wrong.
-Ugh. That watcher dude is an idiot.
-This is a mess. Everyone is going to die. And Claire can’t seriously carry Roger by herself all the way there.
-I knew it was coming to this. They are literally only two adults, a teenager and a half-dead dude.
-Oh, so it looks like it’s so easy to get away with it.
-All right, they are still not letting Roger go.
-No, Jamie. Nope. You idiot.
-Idioooot. Claire didn’t come back so that you could leave her for the Mohawk.
-I feel like Ian is going to tell them something different.
-Oh, Ian. You idiot.
-Although to be fair, Ian looks like he’s really into the native culture.
-Oh my god, Jenny is going to be soooooo mad.
-Soooooooo mad.
-I love that Roger is there like, how have things escalated so quickly?
-Is Ian, what, seventeen?
-I do hope he comes back in future seasons, because he is adorable.
-Also, Rollo.
-Someone take Roger to a hospital, ASAP.
-Great scene.
-How is Sam Heughan not nominated for everything? Is it because he is super good-looking? Because that is, you know, discriminating. He’s the best. It’s not his fault that he is so gorgeous.
-Are Murtagh and Jocasta into each other? It definitely looks like it.
-I feel like we are not going to see Murtagh next season. Or maybe we will. No idea.
-Oh, Jocasta, those are harsh words.
-Oh my god, I knew they were totally going to do it. I. Knew. It.
-I need to point out that it doesn’t look like this is the first time they do it…
-So cute.
-Jenny will understand. Riiiiiight.
-Jamie did deserve that punch.
-Noooo, Ian is going through the punching Soul Train!
-And Jamie is letting Roger punch him super, super hard.
-And for someone as ill and weak as Roger, he is giving Jamie a proper beating.
-Although I remember at the end of the season premiere, Jamie’s torso was so strong, he could barely register the punches.
-Ian looks so happy and excited.
-He is so adorable.
-Oops, truth time.
-Look at Roger’s face when he finds out Bree sent for him. That was heartbreaking and joyful to watch.
-Come on, tell him why you beat him.
-Here it comes. Second half of the season recap.
-Roger is going to have an embolism over so much information.
-Jamie, you also deserved that punch.
-There you go, Jamie. Explanation tiiiiime.
-Someone should mention, you know, the pregnancy.
-That’s when I think the embolism will happen.
-You can’t go through with a child? I need to read the time travelling rule book.
-Jamie, you are acting like an overprotective parent with that “you can leave by yourself” line.
-Did you really have to remind him the baby might not be his right now?
-You have about two months or so of return trip. You could have dropped that bomb some other day, or let him come to that conclusion by himself.
-Stand by her, Roger, stand by her.
-Embolism time.
-Oh Bree. No epidural. That’s more dangerous than being captive with the Mohawk.
-Please be a dark-haired baby, please be a dark-haired baby.
-Or, you know, bald. I guess we will have to wait to guess who the father is.
-Or maybe he is red-haired. It looked a bit like it.
-Two months laterrrr….
-Yay they are back!!
-I can’t wait to see this reunion.
-Wait WHAT!!! Where the F is Roger????
-WHERE. THE. F.????
-And Bree probably thinks right now that he is dead. Someone please tell her straight away that he isn’t.
-Oh boy, this looks awful.
-Roger, don’t be a dick.
-Where is heeee?
-Lizzie, just go to a corner where you can’t create trouble.
-Should a… blind woman hold a child?
-We all know Bonnet didn’t die in that explosion.
-It can’t be that easy.
-Where is Roger? Wandering around in the woods? Is his time wherever he is depicted in the book?
-Look at everyone, dining, so cleaned up.
-Please tell me Roger is going to show up.
-Yes, thank God.
-I can’t type.
-I was so waiting for this.
-Just get off that horse!
-He must smell terrible.
-Awww, Roger. Accepting your son.
-I mean, 50/50 chance, so…
-Oh no. Problem approaching. This was too good of an ending. I knew it.
-Please don’t kill Murtagh in the very last second of the season.
-Wait, what?
-Thank God, it was just the Royal Mail.
-Of course things can’t be nice in life.
-I live for Jamie’s tiny glasses.
Thank you for reading! I will wait impatiently until I can write about season 5! Let the Droughtlander being!
Corleones & Lannisters 