So I Watched GoT’s 8×03, ‘The Long Night’…

So many feelings. I need to share them.

Obviously, these are filled with spoilers, so stop reading if you don’t want me to ruin the episode for you.

You’ve been warned…

 

 

 

-Lena’s name is not in the credits, so that theory about the Night King fooling everyone and attacking King’s Landing is not going to happen.

-My, so many people are going to die. I bet the first one will be either Edd or Grey Worm -because talking about where you’ll go when this is over is the equivalent to showing your girlfriend’s photo during a WWII film.

-Dear Sam. If Sam dies, I’m suing HBO.

-Doooon’t get down to the crypt. Why is everyone an idiot?

-Nice pan from Sam to Tyrion. You gotta appreciate good cinematography.

-That’s clearly wine, isn’t it.

-Oh my God STOP THE SHOW!!! SOMEONE IS WHEELING BRAN TO A PLACE!! HE DOESN’T JUST LEVITATE OR APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE!!! Thanks, Theon.

-Is Sansa going to fight? I highly doubt it.

-I just hope everyone dies soon. If they all die within the last five minutes, it’s going to be excruciating.

-Sweet Pod of the mellow voice, you are so going to die.

-The Hound is like, ‘move out of my f**ing way.’

-Ghost!!! Please don’t kill Ghost.

-Oh, Jorah. I can already tell he is going to die heroically saving Dany. And neither he nor I would have it any other way.

-Please Jon, don’t start talking about incest right now.

-So much silence. Great use of score so far (silence is also part of the score, shut up).

-Is that… Melisandre?

-I mean, great! Because we really need right now someone who can do stuff with fire.

-I am going to repeat what I said last week: Iain Glen is looking great for his age.

-THAT WAS SO COOL! Go, Melisandre!!

-Sooo full of terrors.

-The Dothraki are digging this fire trick so much.

-Whenever someone utters a famous catchphrase, I get goosebumps.

-Melisandre is so poised, I want to be like her. Except for the smoke murders and the child sacrifices.

-Good point. Don’t kill the fire lady just now, Davos.

-That look between Mel and Arya. I sense something coming.

-Jorah, you are not galloping that fast.

-Impressive sequence with all the Dothraki, from every angle.

-Run, Ghost!!! I love him.

-Oh, shit.

-Oh. Shit.

-Where are the flames? Have all the Dothraki seriously died? Like, all of them?

-Yikes.

-So, everyone is going to die, and we will have three episodes of Cersei trying to kick Euron out of her house.

-Okay, there’s like three Dothraki left.

-Jorah’s face at Tormund: “we’re dead.”

-Dany is like, “I’m not waiting for the Night King (NK from now on), I’m killing those ice bitches.”

-Yes, Grey Worm, put that helmet on. You are so dead.

-Argh, with every Unsullied wearing their helmets, I don’t know if they’ve killed Grey Worm!

-Please, everyone retreat. This is carnage.

-Why aren’t they retreating?????

-Brienne got bitten!! Does that make her a wight?

-Dragons saving the day this early in the episode doesn’t inspire me any confidence. It can’t be that simple. Also, the NK will come with his dragon and kill them.

-What the hell? Are the White Walkers Halle Berry now? How did they make that storm? Have they done that before? Because it’s surprisingly effective.

-We all know that dragonglass blade is going to come in handy later.

-Aaand another catchphrase. Goosebumps.

-Hmmm, are the dragons also killing the good guys with those fires?

-Jorah is definitely using that sword more than what Sam would have.

-Can we all remember how useless Pod was when we first met him?

-Aaaand first death. Edd. Not unexpected, as I predicted.

-I wish I could watch this in a cinema. In the darkness of it, I would be able to see this a lot better. I should have waited until nighttime, but who am I kidding, I wasn’t going to wait that long.

-I would have paid for a cinema ticket.

-If Dany and Jon’s dragons accidentally kill each other, it will be hilarious and poetic.

-Finally we start the retreat.

-Protect the retreat? This is when Grey Worm dies.

-Jon, what the hell is your plan? PS. You just broke so many battlements.

-The Unsullied must have spent weeks preparing their choreographies.

-Why isn’t there a moat of fire around Winterfell?

-Aww, Arya saved the Hound.

-Oh, boy, is Davos’ sign supposed to reach Dany?

-Grey Worm has effectively killed all his army with that rope move.

-Hmmm, where is Melisandre when you need her for her fire stuff?

-Like, come on.

-Bloody hell, there she is.

-I must once again point out the excellent use of silence, whether it comes (or doesn’t) from the music or from the character’s words and movements.

-I’m assuming it’s harder to burn frozen wood than, well, not-frozen wood.

-The Lord of Light is clearly taking his time.

-Half an hour in, the two coolest moments come from Melisandre. Redeeming time!

-Why aren’t the wights moving? They creep me out.

-I love it when we are reminded that Sansa and Tyrion used to be married.

-Wait, are they still married? Because it’s not like they divorced before she was forced to marry Ramsay, so the second marriage is invalid. I’m overthinking this.

-Let’s take a pause to fully appreciate Theon’s glorious hair.

-Bran, you are so weird. Also, Bran is now sort of the fricking best?

-“I’m going to go now.” Hahahahahahah. See? He is the best.

-Also, he must be so bored that he wants to know what is happening with the other storylines within the battle.

-Argh!! The NK!! I told you he wasn’t going to King’s Landing.

-Oh, no, what did he do with his hand?

-He gave the wights a smart idea!

-No, no no no. This is so creepy. So Battle of Helm’s Deep -and that scene scared the living hell out of me.

-Poor Sam, Jorah has to snap him out of it.

-This reminds me so much of that zombie pyramid scene from World War Z.

-Oh, Jon, it’s a trap! Don’t follow the NK!

-Foolish, honourable hero.

-Also and idiot.

-Grey Worm, just leave the bloody helmet off.

-Someone is about to die and I’m scared.

-Who was that?? I can’t see!!!!

-I need close-ups!!!

-Pleease don’t let Brienne die hours after she gets her knighthood.

-But if she dies, let it be by Jaime’s side.

-Damn it, they’re everywhere!

-I just remembered that the Hound is afraid of fire.

-Go, Arya! That’s my girl.

-Ouch! Don’t you dare slap Lyanna!

-Ouch again! Don’t you dare give Arya a head wound!

-Yes, Clegane, do something for Arya.

-Damn it. That is a glorious way to go. Bravo, Lyanna.

-I need info on how deadly ice fire is.

-Also, I just switched to a bigger screen and it’s so much better.

-But I keep getting confused about which dragon gets hurt.

-This Arya moment is a nice change. Although I’m scared.

-Geez, Arya. Of all the places inside Winterfell where you could chill, you go to the dark, creepy library.

-Although I hadn’t realised until now how much I needed this quiet break.

-But seriously, Arya. Why?

-Hmm, the wight actually heard the blood dripping?

-Argh! For a second I was so scared!

-That wight just threw up all over your shoulder, Arya. Accept it.

-Noo!!! Why doesn’t the library door have a lock!!

-Ruuuuun!!!!!!

-Don’t you dare kill Arya, HBO!!!

-Ahhh, people from the crypts who don’t realise they are surrounded by corpses.

-Lannisters. When locked during battle, they drink wine.

-Of course the Hound and Beric are about to run into Arya. And a bunch of wights.

-Uhhh, nice firesword throwing!!

-Why are the wights so into stabbing??

-Seriously, stop stabbing Beric!

-Wait, and yet he made it to the room with the other two?

-So, Melisandre has been hanging out there since the trenches scene.

-“Blue eyes.” Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuun.

-Melisandre is staring at her like, “get it, Arya, blue eyes?”

-NOT TODAY!!!!!!!

-Errr, bye, Arya? Did she just remember she forgot to hang out the washing?

-Theon, I really think you should be using swords. And maybe build a fire fort around the tree. Just suggesting.

-Which one was the bigger dragon? I always forget.

-That’s some serious sibling biting!!!

-Yay, go take a nap, NK!! Although I doubt the fall will do anything to him.

-Have both dragons just died in that fight? I am not 100% sure. I need confirmation on this.

-Oh, Dany, you and I both know that fire is going to do nothing to him.

-Surprise! It did nothing, as I had correctly assumed.

-Hahaha, the NK’s smile is like, F U.

-No, Jon, don’t. I know you are immortal and that the same tactic miraculously worked for you in the Battle of the Bastards, but seriously, don’t follow him.

-Ohh, damn. He is doing the “waking up the dead” hand move. Run, Jon, but the other way!!!

-Too late.

-Again, weren’t Jon immortal, he wouldn’t survive this. He is so surrounded.

-Ah, Jaime’s face, always a pleasure. Don’t kill Jaime’s face, show.

-Why aren’t they throwing fire in any possible way at these new wights?

-Like, come on!!!!!

-The NK always looks like he hates Jon, like Jon is the popular kid and the NK is the smart, shy kid who doesn’t understand why everyone likes the popular one, so he always looks at him with contempt and hate.

-Aaaaaand here come the dead Starks! Please don’t bring back Ned if he’s going to be bad.

-That first one looked like a maester, though.

-Oh, now we worry about the crypts.

-Bran is so in his own world. He is watching the episode with us.

-Of course Dany had to save you, Jon, because your plan was stupid.

-Jon, you didn’t need to shout Bran. Just fricking run!

-Wait, is the show going to kill all the dragons? Because I still don’t know if the other two are dead or alive.

-Wight rain!

-You do know who is coming to save Dany, right?

-I kneeeeeew it. Dapper Ser Jorah to the rescue.

-You know things are effed when Jon sees the others, including Sam, and doesn’t stop to help them.

-Jon, you really should hurry if you want to get to Bran before the NK. And before Theon is killed -who am I kidding, we all know Theon is going to die here, at his home.

-Nope. Don’t you dare kill Sansa, Tyrion or both.

-The score sounds like death music.

-Again, lovely use of the music with the rest in the background, barely audible. Kudos to whoever made that choice.

-Damn it, this is the moment when everyone dies. Because they all look like they are about to.

-Oh, hi, Varys.

-So many emotions right now, I can’t type. But I must.

-The NK means business.

-Jaime, Brienne and Pod pinned to a wall. This looks awful.

-Even Sam knows they are going to die.

-Hell, Theon did just kill all the wights.

-No, wait, they simply stopped attacking.

-Now that the episode moves to the weirdwood set, Bran comes back.

-Lovely music.

-Theon knows he is gong to die.

-“You’re a good man.” I’m not crying.

-Shut up.

-Theon finally forgiven for being a dick (pun not intended) the first couple of seasons.

-That was suicidal and yet honourable. Ned Stark would have approved.

-Jon, isn’t there another way to get to Bran?

-Theon still breathes! Is he going to get up and do something?

-Nope.

-Agh!!! Wights, stop stabbing people!!!! How is Jorah still standing?

-Because he will die for his Khaleesi, we all know that.

-Bran is way too chill considering what’s about to happen.

-Jon, you could have reached Bran by now if you had taken a detour.

-Skirt, Jon, skirt!

-Bran, seriously, why so chill?

-Oh my, and he is about to die.

-“NOOOO!!” Hahahaha, Jon is so cute and adorable, screaming at the dragon, like “stop it, let me get to Bran, darn it!”

-Oh damn Aryaaaa!!!! That jump!!!!

-No, no, don’t kill her!

-MAN!! THAT HAND SWITCH!!!

-YOU GO, ARYA!!!!

-THAT. WAS. AWESOME.

-I’m so happy Arya is the one who just did this.

-But of course, Arya cares about her family the most. Of course she’ll kill the ice freak who wants to murder her freak brother.

-Oh no, Jorah is dying. This time for real, and not like the other two hundred.

-Yes, you guys. Arya saved you all.

-Will they return the corpses to their tombs in the crypt? A bit hard to know who’s who now.

-Look at Bran’s face. He knew Arya was on her way there to save the day.

-Jorah dying without saying a word is how it should be. But it’s also super sad.

-Dramatically sad.

-The dragon (one alive!) is super sad, too.

-So Melisandre hasn’t died in the end.

-Okay, wait, I typed too fast.

-Hmm, I don’t think Davos will do anything.

-Old Mel! She is going ala Godric in True Blood.

-That was a beautiful way to end her arc.

-But can we all please remember that Arya saved us all??? (yes, I’m somehow including myself in this).

-Does this mean we have three episodes of cold-harsh politics ahead of us? Is Cersei the big baddie now?

-Will Dany become the baddie instead? Although she has like, no army now, and the platonic love of her life has just died, along with what remained of her first husband’s memory (all those dead Doths), so I imagine she must be too bummed to be bad now.

-Will she and Sansa be united in their hatred towards Cersei?

-I have too many questions! Let’s just be thankful that hardly anyone died, as long as they don’t die in what’s left. If Bronn kills the Lannister boys, I will enter my TV and kill him, and I will stop writing now or I will never end.

-Valar Morghulis!

-Also, what was Cersei doing during the Battle of Winterfell?

 

 

Categories: Television | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “So I Watched GoT’s 8×03, ‘The Long Night’…

  1. Melisandre’s chain-reaction lighting of the Dothraki swords was visually striking. I did wonder if that act might have been hazardous to fur and feathers for the unprepared Dothraki warriors.
    Mel’s pyromaniacal personality proved again useful when she lit the trenches after the dragon ignition plan sputtered, but I don’t think she reached full redemption for her crimes. There could be no atoning for burning sweet Shireen Stannis alive at the stake.
    By the way. Where had the Red Witch been before she made her 11th-hour riding entrance from the dead-occupied north? Swapping tall tales with the Night King?

    • Ginny C

      She was probably hiding in Essos (I think she said that to Varys?) and then, being a magical being, she “sensed” that something was afoot. She can see the future in the flames, don’t forget, so she probably saw the battle, that she had to play a part and that she would die at dawn,

  2. Pingback: So I Watched GoT’s 8×05, ‘The Bells’… | Corleones & Lannisters

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